[Editor's note: Family obligations today and throughout the week. Here's a blast from the past that you might find helpful for an upcoming mass-participation bike tour. Good comments too.]
You have to take the bad with the good, and that certainly goes for large group, week-long, cross-state bicycle tours.
Whether there are 200 or 2,000 cyclists on these organized bicycling events, don't be surprised if a few things don't go to your liking. It takes years for the organizers to work out the kinks, and even then things crop up that nobody could expect. Plus, there are plenty of annoyances over which they have no control.
I'm warning you so you can prepare yourself. Don't let these adversities ruin your idyllic bike ride; remember, this is an adventure. Roll with it.
1. Not enough port-a-potties: There never seems to be enough portable toilets, neither at the destination nor enroute. Actually, there are probably enough, it's just that everyone wants to use them at the same time.
Solutions: When you arrive at your destination, be it a high school, college, or other public facility, scout around for some quiet, secluded, off-the-beaten-path indoor plumbing. When everyone is lined up at the “Johnny on the Spots” or waiting for a berth in the boys or girls restrooms, you'll be comfortably situated on the throne in the faculty lounge.
Also, when you leave in the morning, skip the urge to make that last-minute pit stop. Jump on the bike and race to the first rest-stop, probably less than an hour away. You won't face a line, and you might even get a virgin portable toilet, instead of one that's been used ever since cyclists started arriving at camp.
And enroute anywhere, if you ever see a park or an idle portable, use it. It saves waiting in line at the official reststops.
2. Snorers: People who don't want to bother with pitching and breaking down a tent everyday on a bike tour can often choose to sleep in a high school gym. That's fine, but there always will be someone snoring. It doesn't matter if the guy is on the inflatable mattress next to you or clear across the floor. A good snorer can make a gym resonate like your home theater system's subwoofer.
Solutions: Bring ear plugs. They feel a little strange at first, but you'll be exhausted enough to fall asleep anyway. Also, for comfort, bring a small battery operated fan. It gets stuffy indoors.
3. Early risers: Some cyclists like being the first ones into the destination site. How do they do this? By being the first ones in the saddle that morning. There's nothing more annoying than hearing tent poles clicking at 4:30 in the morning. First you think you've overslept, then you fret about someone getting to breakfast ahead of you, hitting the road ahead of you, and getting the best campsite at the next destination.
Solutions: Again it's earplugs. Also, remind yourself the night before not to worry about people getting early start. And I'm not joking about 4:30 in the morning.
4. Picking the wrong campsite: You know you've picked the wrong site for your tent when there's a party next door, there's a security light shining through the window, you hear the portable toilet doors banging all night, your tent is 100 degrees from sitting out in the sun all afternoon, or there are puddles on the tent floor.
Solutions: Arrive at your destination early enough so you can scope out a good spot. First and most important is look for a stand of trees for shade. Use a compass to figure out where the shade will be in an hour, in two hours, etc. You'll be able stay cool and hang at your crib.
Other important factors: Make sure you're far away from the toilets; make sure the tent is on level ground (if it slopes, sleep with your head uphill); watch out for security lights (I like it dark); make sure the tent is on high ground, not low ground where water will flow in a rainstorm.
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5. Running out of food: It might seem hard to believe, but I've been on rides where the kitchen ran out of food. What happens is that the tour organizers tell the local Lions, or Kiwanis or Band Booster club that 2,000 cyclists will be eating dinner between 5 and 6:30 at the high school lunchroom. Here's the money, feed them. Those caterers aren't used to 2,000 ravenous, calorie-starved people showing up and passing through the chow line like locusts.
Solution: Get in line 15, if not 30, minutes early. First, you'll spend less time in line than if you arrive a half-hour later and must wait with everyone who showed up on time. Plus time will go fast because you're talking with smart early-arrivals like you. Second, you'll have your choice of all the food that's available.
6. Help! My luggage is lost! You've looked everywhere. You can't find your black duffel bag. Of course, there are about 1,600 other black duffel bags sitting out in the sun, and you've just ridden 65 miles in the heat. The salt from your perspiration is stinging your eyes and all you want to do is sit in the shade.
Solutions: Grab a roll of duct tape and personalize that sucker. The Army-Navy store sells two basic colors of duffel — green or black. So half the bags trucked on the bike tour are black, the other half green, except for a few pieces of Samsonite luggage. I prefer silver duct tape on black; yellow on green is a nice choice too. I once put my son's cell phone in the duffel, and tried calling it with my cell phone when we reached the campsite. No signal; no dice.
7. Everything gets wet: It's gonna rain. Count on it. It's bad enough getting wet on the road; trying to sleep in a wet sleeping bag is worse.
Solutions: Pack everything in your duffel in large freezer ziplock bags. You can put all your T-shirts in one, shorts in another, jerseys in another; or Monday's clothes, Tuesday's clothes, etc. Put your sleeping bag in a water repellant stuff sack. Use a huge garbage bag or two as liners and stuff everything in there before putting them in your duffel. This keeps everything organized, which is good, and it keeps everything dry. If it has been raining, your duffel will get thrown off the truck into a puddle.
Always camp on the high ground. This might be difficult at a high school where they put all the tent campers on the football field. In that case, camp between the hash marks. Or camp where you're not supposed to; unless you set your tent up in the school botany exhibit, no one will have the heart to make you move.
One more thing, when you're done setting up your tent, fold the corners of your ground tarp under the tent so the water running off the tent fly doesn't drip onto the tarp and flow into the tent. You'll see this happen.
8. You said there'd be food at the rest stops: All big bike rides advertise provisions at the rest stops; they don't say how long they'll last. Assume that everyone who took off ahead of you this morning is a gluton and will snap up everything before you arrive.
Solutions: Grab an extra banana, a single-serving box of cereal, or an extra muffin at breakfast and stuff it in your jersey. Pack some snacks from home. Pick up stuff at stores. You don't want to go hungry. You don't want to depend on the tour organizers to keep you fed.
Consider this: About 10 years ago at a bicycle tour that will remain nameless, but the acronym was CAM, the organizers got a good deal on bananas and bought a week's worth for energy food at the rest stops. The weather was hot and humid all week, and the bananas were black and flacid by Wednesday.
9. The road is too crowded with cyclists: Better bicycles than cars, eh? It can get annoying to run into bike traffic and car traffic and announce “on your left” every time you pass someone slower. Many tours are patroled by state cops who require single-file cycling except when passing.
Solutions: Just leave earlier in the morning. Most of the slow pokes leave later; the amped up speedsters are usually the first on the road. If you don't like congested bicycle traffic, leave early yourself.
10. Headwinds, rain, heat, cold: It's too wet, too cold, too hot, too windy.
Solutions: It's a bike tour. Get over it. The only thing to do is learn how to deal with bad weather. I've never seen a bicycle tour brochure yet that showed people bicycling through the rain, even though it's bound to rain on your trip. Bring a poncho, remember to drink lots of water, wear polypro if it's chilly, learn to pedal the small gears in the wind.
Editor's note: While some of these photos are from the Seattle to Portland bike bike, I in no way mean to suggest that any or all of these problems occur on that ride.
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